My saga begins....

Okay, my intention was to post on this blog every day, but that obviously ain't gonna happen.  Today is actually Day 2 of my trip, and I am currently sitting in my hotel room with the TV set on BBC World News.  Everywhere I go, Asia or South America, BBC is offered.  I don't why I'm talking about this seeing as this is a food and travel blog.

Before I begin I need to get this out of the way:  there are some pretty damn strange people who travel.  Excluding yours truly.  I took the Amtrak train to LA, as I am usually doing now, and there were a couple of wacky people.  The second I sit down, this elderly dude next to me immediately starts up the chat.  I am a friendly enough guy, I reciprocate.  After a while, I whip out my laptop to do some work and put in headphones.  The guy continues to talk to me.  Then I try to get some shut eye, even though I can never sleep on moving vehicles, and the old timer still is talking to me.  I wasn't asleep, mind you, but my eyes were clearly shut, which would generally indicate that someone is trying to sleep, and therefore probably doesn't want to talk.  Now, I can excuse the guy because he was very nice and he served on the USS Saratoga (that was one we talked about).

In spite of this gentleman's travel transgressions, the lady behind was the one who I truly wanted to slap.  Directly behind my seat was a mother and her toddler.  After a while, I noticed how she spoke to the poor kid.  "Lie down!" still echoes in my mind since that was once phase she repeated over and over.  After like the 12th time, you would think you try a different approach.  Oh, she did say "Go to sleep!" a lot.  Now if you'll kindly notice that I indeed added exclamation points to this lady's comments.  That's not for stylistic writing effect or any such nonsense, that's how she actually spoke.  She didn't yell it, per se; rather she said it in a tone that reminds me of a cop telling a perpetrator to stop resisting.  Now here's the worst part of this sidestory:  this mother listening to hip hop the whole trip.  No, not in her headphones, but on a freaking speaking speaker so half the train car could hear it.  Let me remind you that this was a night train, so pretty much everyone was asleep or trying to sleep after the lights when out.  I could even hear her music through my Bose headphones that blocks out sounds.

Now onto the final nominee for traveler of the year award.  On my first leg to Taiwan, I was doing my usual preparations to get situated.  Then I started hearing some clicking noises, and  I think WTF is that.  I sit down finally, ready to go, and I can see the guy in front of me clipping his nails.  I could literally see his clippings drop to the floor by the window.  C'mon TSA, I thought you didn't allow nail clippers.  Oh speaking of that, I have a tender story to tell.

So to sum up:
Talking to your seatmate:  acceptable
Talking to your seatmate while he/she is busy doing sleeping, like sleeping:  unacceptabe
Taking your kid on a trip:  acceptable
Taking your kid on a trip just to yell at him the whole trip and using hip hop to lull him to sleep:  unacceptable
Clipping your nails everywhere but  on a plane:  acceptable
Clipping your nails on a plane:  unacceptable

Real quick, as I just mentioned I have a rather touching story to tell about my experience at LAX.  After going through the scanner, I was told to stand there.  I waited for a few minutes with my items sitting on the conveyer belt and still no word.  Finally I was asked where my stuff was, and I told them.  One guy collects everything and another dude asks me to follow him.  I was taken into a room and told that they were going to conduct a pat-down.  If you never had to fortune of a full out TSA pat down, it's a little different than the ones when you go into clubs or other events.  The guy was kind of enough to tell me what was going down, but it still doesn't make the whole experience any more enjoyable.  Essentially, the guy wiped his hand across my crotchal region.  I have to hand it to him (no I didn't literally hand anything to him), he was quite gentle.  But he didn't buy me dinner first.

Some of my favorite past photos to whet your appetite. 

Cuy in Arequipa, Peru

In case you don't get the translation of "cuy" or can't see what's in the photo this is in fact a guinea pig.  Correction, it was a guinea pig until I ate him/her.  It really didn't taste that good.  Was it gamey?  Yeah, kind of.  It wasn't bad, but it's not something I'd do again soon.  The worst part was that it didn't have much meat to it.  Neither do I, so I guess I shouldn't complain.  Here's some interesting background to cuy.  Cuy is a traditional, pre-Columbian dish for the people in Andean Mountains.  Back before Columbus sailing the ocean blue, there were no cows or pigs in the Americas.  Guinea pigs, however, were available.  More importantly, guinea pigs were easier to raise and grow in the mountains.  Or anywhere for that matter.  Try raising a cow in your back yard.  On another side note, Peru has hundreds of different varieties of potatoes.  If I asked where potatoes came from, you would most likely reply with Ireland.  Nope.  Before the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria visited the nice folks of the Americas, potatoes did not exist in Europe or anywhere else.  So in exchange for french fries, baked potatoes and chips, Native Americans received boatloads of small pox. 

Chapter 1:  Prologue

For those of you who have the misfortune of knowing me personally, you most likely would know that there are precisely five things that I express an abiding love towards.  In descending order of priority, the list includes:  my family, my friends, my students, traveling, and eating.  Sadly, I do not have a blog devoted to the first three.  It's probably due to the fact that they can speak out after posting things about them, whereas the other ones, not so much.  This inaugural posting shall serve as an outlet for me to discuss the last two items, travel and food.  

I have written extensively in the past about my adventures abroad.  Boy there were some doozies.  Traversing UP a river on the back of a motorcycle to get to some remote village in Cambodia, again riding "b" on a bike WITH 50 pounds of luggage hanging precariously on the handlebars while evading mass street protests in Cuzco, being propositioned for a hummer by a transvestite hooker in Guadalajara,  and many other such international incidents have shaped the core of my being.  Every time I return from a trip, my perspective on life changes in some way.  This is just me waxing philosophically, but when your perspective fundamentally alters, it transcends throughout your daily actions.  When I see a group of boys in a circle laughing heartily and having unadulterated fun doing nothing more than kicking around a flip-flop, I tend to complain less at the prospect of lacking any particular material items in my life.  Now on a more base level, traveling is simply enjoyable; one that involves my palate rather than the core fibers of my being.  One of the singularly unique opportunities that traveling provides is being able to savor cuisine that can literally not be found anywhere else in the world.

That is why I am starting this blog.  My aim is to share my magical moments, open your eyes to the world outside, and to impart some bit of knowledge upon your unsuspecting mind.  If you happen to cry or laugh on the way, well that's the price of admission to this blog.  Please feel free to post any comments, even if it is to rip me a new one for something obscene that may have crossed my lips.  Trust me, you will undoubtedly come across that should you choose to continue reading.  I will attempt to warn you as to avert your eyes, but I cannot any promises or offer any refunds.  Seriously, if you have any questions about anything at all, please ask and leave a comment.  

On May 29, 2012, I will be leaving my sleepy hamlet of Tucson, Arizona, on a whirlwind tour across Asia.  My itinerary for this upcoming trip will include Thailand, Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and China.  I will be spending the majority of my two months abroad in China.  For some inexplicable reason, I have been chosen to teach English to university students in a city called Wuhan.  I have only been to Hong Kong before, so I look forward to visiting the Middle Kingdom.  More specifically, I think I will highly anticipate being able to work with international students, as I hope to gain a different insight in my approach to teaching.  I just hope I don't end up traumatizing some poor student due to something that was lost in translation. 

Stick with me here, people, you're in for a ride...