Goodbye Thailand.  Hello Sri Lanka.

Have you ever wondered to yourself after I announce my travel plans, “What does that little bugger do when he’s off in other countries?”  Well, here’s a chance for you to recreate an experience that I have recently had.  Please follow these steps carefully, and you will see how yours truly does it up internationally. 

Step 1:  Find a sauna or steam room of any kind and crank it up to the maximum setting.

Step 2:  Find a stationary bicycle.

Step 3:  Find some random local Thai people in your area.

Step 4:  Find some trucks, buses, cars, scooters and tuks tuks that completely disregard pedestrians or bicyclists.

Step 5:  Add all of these elements together for a day of fun bicycling through the streets of Bangkok.

This is exactly what I did the other day.  Well not exactly.  We also rode through some alleyways, along rivers, and through parks.  Despite the intense humidity that causes parts of your body you didn’t know existed to sweat and some pretty chaotic traffic, it was a great experience.  Actually let me back it up a half a day.  So I technically took two tours:  the morning one was a walking food tour and the afternoon one was the aforementioned bike tour.  The food tour was great, too, but I may be slightly biased seeing that I love anything edible. 

The food tour was great because it offered a chance for me to sample places I’d never think of ever going to.  Not just because I don’t know where these places are as a visitor, but rather because I probably would not want to sample places that I feel may not be up to hygienic par.  I like to think I’m an intrepid foodie, willing to try anything and everything.  For some reason, eating street food abroad kind of scares me.  I have no trouble eating tacos from a truck back home.  At least I know that the roach coaches there are inspected.  Seeing some the sanitary practices off the streets is pretty nasty.  Thailand is renowned for its street food, and it is literally everywhere you turn.  Some are pretty sophisticated setups with tables and stools nearby.  Access to running water is not.  Call me crazy, but I do prefer to have the dishes I’m eating off of and the hands of my food handlers to not be cleaned by the same water that has been standing there for the whole day.  With that said, we never ate street food on the tour, but we did go to more basic and rustic restaurants, which I am fine with.

Here is all of the food that was sampled on the tour:

Roasted duck in Bangkok

Rambutan in Bangkok

Chicken curry and roti in Bangkok

Twice-fried fish in Bangkok

Pork filled bun and custard filled bun in Bangkok

Papaya salad in Bangkok

Coconut ice in Bangkok

We eventually arrived for the headquarters for the bike tour operation.  At first we were all sitting around the table, chilling out and registering.   After I had signed in, the tour guide looks at me and says “Your American?  You look Asian.”  To which I replied, “Well, I am Asian.”  This elicited much laughter from the group.  I was thinking, “What’s so funny?  It’s true, I am Asian.”  I actually said it to be funny, but I didn’t think it was that funny.  I guess Asian jokes kill.  Maybe I’ll quit my day job to do stand up.

Eventually we were all told to grab a bicycle.  After selecting my chariot, I was then asked by a guy if I wanted a helmet.  I declined his offer.  I was going to say that I never wear protection because it cramps my style, but I thought it might get lost in translation.  In having to rank my crazy adventures in terms of the risk of actual bodily harm, this is pretty high.  My climb up, and down, Wayna Picchu was by far the number one on the list.  This bike tour was crazy only for the amount of traffic we had to go through.  Not only did we cross and ride along some busy thoroughfares, we rode through pedestrian areas packed with people in very confined spaces.  I actually thought I was going to hid more people on my bike than vehicles.  Needless to say, my eating skills are far more proficient than my biking skills.   The other hazard I think the tour posed to me was the possibility of inhaling the equivalent of 50 packs of cigarettes.  A lot the tuk tuks and busses look pretty ancient and belch out diesel fumes.  Or maybe it was the dirtiest form of coal from the looks of the tailpipes.     

The destinations themselves were altogether spectacular, truth be told.  They could be mentioned in guidebooks or travel sites, but they definitely are not highlight type sites.  Still, they were interesting and off the beaten path.  And that’s kind of the point.  The process, rather than the destination, is what made this tour particularly unique, interesting and special.  Isn’t that really what life should be about?  I will always try go to off the mainstream tourist grid when traveling because it’s those moments that only happen in the middle of nowhere that makes trips truly memorable.  Looking back, most of my favorite times are exactly that.      

The people on the tour were really cool, also.  While I do enjoy going solo (no jokes about my single status please), I like going on these tour groups especially for the company.  On this tour, there were three subgroups participating:  a young Australian couple volunteering for a school in Malaysia, a group of American guys on a weekend vacation who all work for a multinational corporation based in Taiwan, and another group of American guys who were involved in some Christian school or outreach.  One poor guys slammed his shin into a bus bench and cut it up pretty good.  After a while, he found himself puking, so the tour guide called a couple of tuk tuks to take them back.  Wherever you are right now, dude from Texas with four kids who gets mistaken for a Mexican but is actually Indian.  This guy was cool.  He was telling me that he is Indian, but living in Texas, is approached with Spanish spoken to him.  Apparently, one time he told someone that he doesn’t speak Spanish and that person told the dude that he was a traitor to his race.

Me on a bike tour throughout Bangkok waiting for a ferry

Here are a couple of random side notes.  One, my timing for my blog is obviously behind.  I’m actually writing this sucker on my laptop on my way to Sri Lanka. I should be dead asleep right now, like the dude sitting next to me snoring.  In the past week, I think there was only one night when I got more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep.  Last night I only got 2.  When I checked in, I found that I was over my weight limit.  By 5 kilos.  The lady was nice enough to charge me for 4 kilos, so I only had to pay up $40.  Also, yesterday I was clipping my nails.  This in and of itself is pretty nothing noteworthy, except for that if you read my earlier posting, I actually saw some dude on an airplane clipping his nails.  As I was in my hotel room cutting my nails, I thought to myself, “I wonder where that guy is now.  Is he in a library clipping his nails?  Is he in a movie theater trimming his nose hairs?  Is he putting on deodorant in a bank?”  Here’s to you, nail clipping on an airplane guy… 

Pad see ew from Bangkok

This is a Thai noodle dish with a wide, rice noodle cooked in a soy sauce gravy.  I love the Chinese version, chow fun, but is just as delicious.  The cost for this plate?  $1. 

Vegetable dish from Bangkok

Round 2.  I was pretty full, but this was my last night in Bangkok, so I wanted to tear it up.  Yep, tear it up with a plate of vegetables.  One is different vegetables cooked in a curry sauce and the other I think is morning glory or a spinach.

Burger King from Bangkok airport

I know what you’re thinking.  Why in the hell am I eating this junk?  I don’t have a good explanation to offer here.  I was in the airport, it was 6 in the morning, and I was dead tired.  I really didn’t want to think, so I ordered something automatic:  a whopper just like they make back home.  Well hopefully it was made in Bangkok and not Tucson.

I will be landing shortly in Colombo, Sri Lanka to meet up with my cousin and her husband, who is originally from Sri Lanka.  I’m not going to lie, I am kind of nervous traveling here.  My culinary experiences with Sri Lankan food are pretty limited.  I will also be staying with his family, whom I’ve never met before.  The one thing I am most apprehensive about is having to eat my hand bare hands.  I did joke earlier in this blog that I do like doing things bare, but eating is not one of them.